Forgiving Is Hard

*Forgiving, A Topic That Is Difficult* Let’s face it our relationships with each other are highly complex. We have friends and family surrounding us that all have different personalities, each one carrying different levels of pain and happiness. While I am no psychiatrist or doctor, I am a good friend and a better family member. I pride myself on listening to others as part of the reasons my situations don’t get out of control. I am, however, not a perfect human. I have had arguments and negative emotions toward others and I know that perhaps others have felt that around me too. The key, I feel, to having great relationships, whether it is with a sibling or friend or extended family member is to learn about forgiveness. I have personally learned that forgiveness is really truly letting a burden go, a weight that lifts from your shoulders, and then and only then can a healthy relationship be discovered.
*How To Forgive* Most of the therapists I have come into contact with say there is almost no relationship that cannot be saved and that forgiving is number one on the list. But forgiving is NOT easy. The way to become engaged to accept forgiving someone or something is to truly acknowledge that it is only the person who is NOT forgiving someone that is getting burdened and hurt by this. All of the negativity that you or them unknowingly are placing on yourself/themselves will take a toll on that person’s overall health; physically and emotionally. Decide to push away the negative feelings in your life and push forth through by allowing forgiveness to enter because you are the one who is being hurt. When the person decides this is the way to wellness, they can begin the process of forgiving. If you are forgiving someone else other than yourself , accept that this problem has actually changed you and now it is time to release that and turn all the negativity into a positive. As you let go little by little you will continue to grow and again you’ll change.
*Forgiving Your Personal Self* If it is you that needs the forgiving, you must first take all responsibility for any or all of the actions that caused you to get to this spot to begin with. You really have to reach inside and recognize your part in the situation. When you do see it, you can then start to make amends. You must apologize, call, and say it or whatever way you can convey it. Sending a card or flowers or somehow acknowledging to the other person that you know your culpability in the situation. Let them take as much time as they want to discover what you are saying. Hopefully they will see you are truly trying hard to make amends, and you can begin to grow past the situation that was wrong or inappropriate.
*Responsible Happiness* Sometimes, for whatever reason, you seeking out forgiveness does not work. At times the other person/group of persons just want to cut ties or agree to never recover the before relationship. You may have to let that be a possibility as well. Remember that your goal is to move completely past this situation in order to regain your personal health. You are responsible for all of your own happiness.
*End Notes* One will always live “happily ever after” without guilt and stress burdens that are often carried by not forgiving or being forgiven. Never forget that that in order to take care of yourself properly you cannot harbor negative feelings or be in a constant state of grudge holding with friends, family and acquaintances. Seek out attention from a therapist who is well versed in forgiveness; especially if it is you that may have caused the problem. It is sometimes hard to see that in fact, you are the person that has caused the problem to begin with. For further study and worth-while reading see below: ~~~~~~~~~~ https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/forgiveness https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-therapy/200909/four-elements-forgiveness http://www.guidetopsychology.com/forgive.htm (religious)
*This article/blog post does not attempt to treat nor resolve any issues medical or not that a person may face. It is my position here that if you or anyone you know is facing this issue it is suggested that you seek out professional help. This article was for the enrichment of my readers. *Photo credits: *Clouds Forgive psychologytoday.com* *Peace Dove rachelfinity.com* All other Photos contained herewithin, Photo Credit MaryCaliendoPhoto2020

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